event changing

okay so i am at this point
where i have felt
like i have wrote this all before
and nothing is changing
so
thus if nothing is changing
how can my life change
no fucking event ever changed it
for the best
never for the worst
just leaveas me in a state of confusion
it makes me weerie
i need to sleep
i need to breathe
and so
another menthol it leaves me to
numb,
the senses
cleanse me
i need it
i feel dirty and
there is no water
only your own disgusting saliva
to leave all this to.
its sad
its pathetic
its me.