ragdy ann is now improved.. with new baby doll dresses and extensions

okay so new theorys written and old ones lost forgetting the old and in with the neew with theses exceptions of what i thought was lost but now is foind in a way is new i suppose..



let us all forget
what we said yesterday
with flying bumble bees
and my mother crying
because i am
walking on my hands
in the wrong direction
somehting she will always
hate herself for,
never believeing the truth
of yesterday
and the lies to come
because it hurts her baby
in the long run

if it took 14 hours to sleep
and 2 days to wake
i would get farther than
any other person possible
it makes me happy
to know this

in time i will forget
my beautiful free writing poetry
and the idea of true art
perhaps after i am put in socks..
at least that is what i am hoping

:):(:):(:):(:):( ups and downs.

moving.
far from my real 2nd home.
only thing i could ever call home since my first.
supposedly best friend does not care.
o well.

he is going to call me.
happy dance in my room.

thrift shopping and bought two new shirts,
a belt...
at DEBS a coat.

needed for michigan weather.

arg. mateys.
you are a pirate.
IMA Robot.

weehoo?

I LOVE PAINTBALL.
today was a better day.

sweet life in the end i hope.

today is sad.
the end.
for everything.
kenny.
rob.
kelsey.
matt.
rebecca.
maggi.
emma.
joe.
sad.
no names included.
especially not myself.

mixed emotions and topics.

NIP/TUCK SERIES PREMIERE WAS BEAUTIFUL/POETIC/ AND GREAT.


Okay so right about now i am pleased with myself because of how wonderful the premiere was....
______________________________________________________________

i slept for numerous hours today
I went home early and slept until 3:30.
exhaustion. plain and simple.
no coffee this morning and was not able to stay awake.
besides that I m psyched about Halloween tomorrow.
yea.

______________________________________________________________

i am trying to figure out why life has meaning and why i deal with people i can't stand on an average basis.
all seems well at first but after being friends for numerous months you start to see they are very annoying and are coincided.
too bad they do not under stand that.

______________________________________________________________

nicotine/menthol would taste great right now.

______________________________________________________________

child hood memories (nostalgia)
are something very important and meaningful to me.
i do not think people understand
that i dream of the days
where i would dance for hours
to my fathers music with him,
and play with lucky.
i miss those days so,
keeping them locked in my pocket
right along with my pride.
i wish to high hell i can give my children
the same joy i had.
as a child i know that it wasn't the greatest childhood
but knowing that my father has always been there for me means alot.
he did alot for me and i will always look up to him
no matter what his habits are/were.
sometimes i here a song that reminds me of him,
and i break down crying
that i hurt him by not calling and visiting
often or at least as often as i should have.
life in general means alot to me
and keeping every moment of the good and bad
is something you want to keep with you.
i try not to forget the imporatant things
but i still do
it is the useless days
where you just sit that for hours
doing nothing
and there is a single sentence/ moment
that happened that you will never forget.
i love these memories and each time i hear these songs
i rejoice in the thought of childhood.
i keep it all inside
one day i will let the world see it too.
possibly by doing this(blogging)
or am making a major piece of art work.
who knows
all i know is that i love nostalgic memories.
and my fathers music.

M.E. Olly

so here is the newer big thing in life being stressed by friends because they seem so caught up with their life with boys of which none of them have.. they need to live before getting involved too seriously because all that does is get you in truble one way or the other___________________________



i am keeping kept inside
not afraid to hurt someone
just afraid that i will lose them.
throwing spoons and kicking clothes
a friction starts..
at least in mind
it explodes much more than it should.
cotton ball bubbles
and card board bathtubs (with waterproof paint of course).
i am not sure what is happening
all i know is that
i want to shank you
and i am sorry Mr. M.E. Olly
that i kicked you in the testicles earlier
i should apologize again
although you forgave me..
it was funny though i must admit.
Halloween right around the corner
full of mischief in my heart but not as much on the streets.
Friday hopefully will be a day
of more than Platonic love.

so we killed her.

sleeping in infinity and forever forgetting the lies we all told after her death.

i drive them crazy.

give me a week.
and i will blow your mind.
(literally)



______________________________

p.s. i wrote my name in wet cement today.

"Don't get blood on my Prada Shoes"

Kelly killed another one.
Once again walked a ladder to sheer victory.
no one hurt besides here
dear Prada shoes.
To bad he got a nose bleed.
He might have been still alive

Henry Baily

Henry Baily
Sleeping in the wrong room
and accepting that he wasn't what you found yesterday
when you looked in the mirror.
About the life of
glamor now lost
to that empty '40'.
Again.

slipe 'n' slide down my slope

Following those outlines like trying to tie shoes.
Floors dirty as fuck but with a sensibility to it. (somewhat comforting)
Never asking question,
and always contradicting
these rules.
You follow like it was the bible.
written like poetry on top of a masterpiece.
to bad you'll never read it.

sorry to ruin you dreams, babe.

Fiction is what you are.
Sitting there at the counter.
In you cowboy boots and heavily drawn on eyes.
Never keeping it simple.
You change yourself every other day,
and constantly are running away,
from what you thought was your past.
What you never knew
was that you will never really leave this life.

F**K YOU AMERICA

I would like to trip you
into those
trees.
Wondering what was on your mind.
Too bad this is
fiction.

idylic

Here is something i would love to enjoy:


Playing hopscotch with perfect gesture and such. Never having the thought of the chill of this cold fall wind. All I can remember are those brightly drawn chalk lines and marks and the way the November wind had an aroma of leaves falling from a nearby tree. That was the day I could smell the crisp air change for the first time.

slipping through the cracks

I would like to keep these
secrets
between these floorboards
hiding behind the small cupboard
of the downstairs world.
i still wonder
what it is like down there.
perhaps then
i may have a lie to tell.

caffeine flavored toffee

I keep these very few things true
with my eyes shut
trying to remember
YOUR factor in life.
I sleep through the days
barely ever actually awake
keeping caffeine in my pocket
perhaps in my mouth
Its still the thought though
you look at life through kaleidoscope eyes
and see a world of hate
of which you will never fully understand
of course,
that is
perhaps you should lay off
the caffeine

twilight zone blues

Imagine if people walked on their hands and ate with their toes.
Taking pictures while blinking
and there was no such thing as speciesism,
when all species were intertwined to form one.
We would be called fill in the blanks.
Playing cards with the queen and drinking tea with the jester.
Speaking in tongues that no one knows but you.
When all secrets are lies and all truth is forbidden.
Playing hide-and-seek in an empty white room
and yet you can never find the other person.
That's the problem with thinking in and out of tune with these other
fill in the blanks.
Never knowing when a legion would fall out of place
and get destroyed like the other two thousand some odd number do.
Refusing to wear socks and
addicts are people who paint their nails.
Where vocabulary is useless except
for in fish tanks
when we go diving for ice cream
made by starfish
and burning the flag is how we represent this world.
How we keep it in tune,
that is,
of course,
how i want it to be,
but then again,
I am an impressionist and i see through one eye,
forgetting the sounds of tomorrow and the future of yesterday,
keeping these access shoelaces out of my hair
and inside my stomach.
When Mickey Mouse ran for president of this world of which is unnamed.
And yet harmony is an explicit message
and anarchism is something never forgotten.

theory!

"Yes. Say this blanket represents all the matter
and energy in the universe, okay?


You, me, everything.



Othing has been left out, all right?
All the particles, everything.


- What's outside this blanket?
- More blankets. That's the point.


- Blanket's everything.
- Exactly. This is everything.


Let's just say
that this is me, all right?


And I'm, what, 60-odd years old
and I'm wearing a gray suit.


Blah, blah, blah.
And let's say over here, this is you.


And, you're... I don't know,
you're 21. You got dark hair, etc.


And over here, this is Vivian,
my wife and colleague.



Then over here, this is
the Eiffel tower, right? It's Paris.


And this is a war.
And this is, uh, a museum.


And this is a disease.
And this is an orgasm.


And this is a hamburger.


- Everything is the same even if it's different.
- Exactly.


But our everyday mind forgets this.
We think everything is separate.


Limited. I'm over here.
You're over there. Which is true.


But it's not the whole truth
because we're all connected.


Because we... are connected."







BEST LOGIC IN THE WORLD!!

jawbreakers

taking walks in sand
and on stars
now gone but not lost
still dreaming while awake
and keeping eyes
shut
to secure insanity
never letting go
of the fear
insanity
and of course you in so many ways
wondering how life was lost
and how you began
what was that color we spoke of
such as flowers
and simultaneously tieing access shoelaces
intertwined in a giant knot formed into a lucky charm
such as myself as you trust me
i keep these secrets in my mind
and with others
i apologize just not to myself
if only we could pretend
that i was someone else
and we could forget it all
i hope life could be that easy
forgetting who we all
were just seeing the BIGGER picture
understanding that we are not the only ones
we have to think of ourselves
as much as others
but that doesn't leave much time does it
it is horrid that i think
this way of illogical
butterflies and pixies tails (or tales)
in my mind
sleeping and seeing
the truth at the same time
for once.

christian in my heart is unreal or just dead

it's funny how i can sit here in my underwear and a tank top because my legs are drying because of the lotion. i slept well last night but was confused as hell when i woke up somewhere i didn't fall asleep and next to lady R. that was fine though. it scares me to think that i am losing my friends from suicide assumptions and childish fights.. in the end i wonder what life is like. maybe self destruction is a beautiful art and need to try more of it... i doubt it though. i mean to relieve stress i bite my arms which leave circular bruises but isn't it better than suicide? i need a better excuse to love people different from me.


i believe i may be psychic... honestly.. the first day i ever say a Mr. Woodcock commercial i could tell you exactly what it was about... i am going to see it tonight to see if i am correct, then to a haunted house.. oo spooky..


paramore is good to listen to like right now but very annoying after about 2 consecutive hours of it. name also came from friends last name.. piece of info.

art shaped whole

"I love him, I worship him. I masturbate to Duran Duran videos. "Andy Warhol.

I have always thought well art is a rebel against society so if i used this quote for my class wouldnt I be making a stand?

What if this wasn't a hypothetical question?

As I reread what I wrote yesterday I make myself sick thinking about how "head over heels" i was for him and still kind of am.

EXTRA EXTRA TO THE END OF talking in the past; present; and hopefully future The end part.... add ons.

Laying in your bed again between your flannel sheets. You are not here but somewhere else. I am laying here with blue jeans, a band tshirt, and a cigarette. The scent of menthol and marijuana fill the room. I just lay there wishing you could keep every promise you ever told me, Saying you would love me forever and we would always be together no matter how far apart.I want to lay here forever between these sheets holding on for dear life. If i could I would never leave that spot.




Jet black hair, long and lanky for a boy; to his chin and yet you can still notice that his ears are gauged with different size piercings and nails.His face like something out of a fairytale; beautiful and poetic with so much pain not told in his story. Yet you are always seen with a smile and so am I when I here your voice, see your face in a picture, or inches from mine. you are so beautiful and yet you once had a fiance and we couldn't be together. I still feel that one day we could be together, but at least he hold me.


part of story not told.. he had a fiance when we met. i helped him through his break up... we stopped talking for about a month.. they dated for about a week during that time... he is now single.. i am now vulnerable




If the dead are kept in Graves and in Vases i would like to be kept in a Sock.
A new one of course though.

New information..... I think most of my time with the right hemisphere of my brain (the artistic side) I took a test today and out of 20 question each were pointed out to be on the right side.... how wonderful.



Let's take a trip
to neverland
and see if we can
pick up
the mad hater
on the way..

smile i am looking at your picure

we
should
keep
the
secrets
of
our
minds,
in
each
others.

talking in the past; present; hopefully future

i once thought i was falling in love with a boy i saw the first day i was there. i was to spend a week at this place and it was day one and i thought i was in love just by the look of him. he was beautiful with gauged ears, a montley crue tshirt, and net gloves. he was beautiful. i had a plan. I was going to do as i did with anyone else i didn't know walk up to them and hug them. it was the second day and it was a night of activities in this so called place. It was about 11:00pm and everyone was running around through shaving cream balloons and chocolate syrup at one another along with giant slip and slides. it was an amazing night me and my friends running around covering are selves in chocolate and stealing peoples shoes. I saw him; i was covered in chocolate, water, grass,and shaving cream and i just waked right up to him in the opposite direction of my friends and simply said " I am about to hug okay?" I hugged him and walked away as nonchalantly as possible. It probably didn't work as well as i hoped but it was still wonderful. I found out the next two days that he was talking to my newer former friends and him and i kept looking at each other during study. He and I started discussing about the third day about how I smoke a lot and where we were it was prohibited. I of course broung Newports anyway. During lunch we snuck out behind the trail and smoked cigarettes. He was not used to Newports he smoked #27's and usually became light headed after smoking menthol but for some reason that week he didn't become light headed once. "I made him not so light headed" I found out he had a fiance and of course i was going to respect that even though how badly i wanted to grab him and kiss him passionately. After that days' long talks about our life and how him and i both grew up in homes full of drugs, alchol, and abuse between our parents. I felt as if i could tell him almost anything which from the month before was a new feeling to me. It was amazing, it was almost as if this part of me was kidnapped and given to him. My ex happened to be at this place i was at also so he and i decided that because some girl also was obsessed with him that every time my ex stared at me he would hold me and the same with her. Not until the end I understood how much this was going to hurt. We started spending most of our time together. I pretty much ditched my friends for him; it wasn't all the time i was still with my friends but i wanted to spend as much time i could spend with him as i could so that's what i did. We became really close and he became close with my friends to. I found out that he also is a juggalo and me being a juggalette was perfect. I somewhat forgot in the end that he has a fiance. Three more days were left and we had to watch performances so we sat next to each other and i became really upset because earlier that day i found out that my ex also supposedly liked him. He was trying to hurt me by taking to him every chance he could. So this boy I was falling in love with confronted him and told him that he needed to stop otherwise there was going to be serious problems. I liked him even more then. So while he was preforming I went to talk to my friend Andy and told him how much i really liked this boy and how i did not want this week to end and i would do anything for him. You see Andy and some of his friends and this motto " what happens here stays here" so he asked the boy about it. Andy came up to me later and said that he couldn't say anything to me about it because this boy wanted to tell me in person. So it was time to leave and I was waking towards where i was assigned to sleep and he comes running across the yard screaming my name so i Tell my friends to go ahead and he look as at me and hugs me. I look at him nd say " I already know there is no need to tell me" He simply says "yes but I want to, I really like you so don't think I don't and I would love to be with you and leaving is going to be the hardest part about this. I am sorry and we need to talk tomorrow" I for some reason choked up and about started crying and I before that night hadn't cried in almost 6 months. I tell him barely "that it is okay and i understand, it's nice to know your girlfriend can trust you, she is lucky" SO he grabs me and hugs me. and he gets called and he has to leave. I go into my bed and I cried for about 2 hours that night. Just because I didn't want to think about leaving. We had a class the next day and fortunately and unfortunately my ex and him were both in this class. I skipped it and said i was feeling ill. he saw me at lunch. It was awkward at first but it was all better after that. My friend Kelsey had been really suicidal at the time and lost it that night. Before that though we had to admit something about ourselves and he admitted himself to me about how scared he was to go back and start dealing drugs and if he didn't how he would have to move because his parents would disown him.her also told me that the night before he came there he almost killed himself he took near 50 vicadin along with alchol and if tiwasn't for him throwing up all of it because of Jack Daniels he would have never met me. Now Kelsey got to the big suicidal thing. there was near 10 people crying about it people who knew just from this week and people who had know her for years like me. he and Andy sat there and held me that whole time. I cried again and he started crying also about his fear of going back. He also never cries. It is rare. I loved that fact that he trusted me enough to crying front of me as with him. Time to leave. THE LAST DAY... we were pretty quiet that day just stayed by each other alto and held hands quiet bit also. It felt nice he admitted to it to. He told me that him and his fiance had not been working out so well and that he wished he would have came there single so he could be there with me. The plan was I was going to go to his grandparents house the next day of which he was staying at at the moment. So we left and he called me the next day. I apologized because my sister couldn't take me now so i wouldn'tee him for who knows how long. he was really upset but didn't admit it until later.

After we left. He started his habits again. Started dealing again. we talked every night for about a month and a half only one duirng that time that he can remember he wasn't fucked up. He told me alot of things that he says he doesn't me and but i know he does because of statistics or at least i hoped he meant them. I still do.

It is a month later i hadn't talked to him in any of that time after i got really drunk and threw up on the phone while talking ot him and passing out. i talked once to him after only for about 10 minutes though. I thought it was my fault he stopped calling, I hated myself.

We talked recently. He just got out of the Drunk Tank, Just got a public intoxication/ resistance of arrest. and still from three days after all of that he still feels sick. I told him about how i was in the hospital because partially of my addictions and he still was the guy i met at camp that though i was better with out it all. I still am in love. I wish I wasn't and yet i love the feeling. I wish he didn't live two hours away. The drive is worth it though. He just need s to straighten out his life.




I wish i could lay in your bed wrapped between your flannel sheets and your arms. The faint smell of nicotine from a cigarette you smoked an hour ago, and the sound of insane clown posse playing from the corner of your room. I would like you to hold me as you did before. I miss you, I miss every thing about you, I have never felt this way.

lip liner and a beret

The president was shot by a goldfish
and everyone mourned
besides the revolusionists
like me.

the carnival freakshow is back

ambition with a nicotine scent.
falling in and out of lust.
cheating
conniving
perhaps just having a good time.
it's okay apparently though.
singing obscenely and rudely is a great passion of mine
although is everything including activities with those two words.
i believe in circles ands flavored candy bars.
taking long showers and longer walks.

we all keep these things inside us
that even we refuse to admit happened
but you know it happened and if your lucky
you are the only one
it sits there and annoys
and aggravates the living hell out of you
if you are lucky though
you get over such things
and forget for a while
only a glimpse every few months
until you forget about it completely
it is still siting in you brain knowing you did something
you are ashamed of.


i am still sleeping
at least inside
i am not feeling i am awake unless
in danger
or risk of doing something extremely new and wanted.
lust what a risk
the one i would love to take
and have chances to
but am afraid of feelings of others
rather than my self.
sleeping in bed for hours
is all i long to do
and it never happens
just laying there in the dark
hours upon hours
with no end
like stating into the abyss
that is until a menthol cigarette is lit
and that even is not to my satisfaction anymore
because of the newest s
tandard rules and regulations
of which i live under.
it is sad i have to live this way.

wishing well to the people without two person bikes built for one.

sleeping on hills of yoga

feeling great and feeling new yet feeling dead and hollow... i am doing what the doctor wishes i wouldnt and what i am glad i am yet disapointment is still within me.

at least i am satified
i can deal with a little disapointment.

daisy type goodbyes

keeping things all the same usually seem sensless and wasteful i mean life changes on its own doesnt it? why dont we just help it. stop; smell the flowers even though you have that itch in you knowing you shouldnt. you havent the time for such childish things any longer. keeping all thoughts in your mouth and your mouth clamped tightly shut. bright colors slowly drift away untill you are simply a shade of mauve white and grey. no livleyness perhaps you did die a little when you moved here perhaps you just grew up completly. i feel bad for you though no one should have to deal with leaving behind all color and though. simply put best by the words of an artist someone who feels and knows colors the way the world sees them as a child keeping that sight is difficult and yet refreshing it is sad most of you has lost it.

we took the train to pittsburg she hugged me and i wished her a sweet goodbye. never said once to many but always wishing ther was no such thing.

a small peice of toxic waste

it is funny how we all keep in one place and not move for hours among the night when there are tons of millions of other people across from you dieing, moving, partying and not giving a fuck in general. those who live under the streets and under the influence i sulite you. but if you live under the influence doesnt that mean you are forming an influence or simply just following it???? of course there are different views on this like typing class and childrens paragraphs.. kept quiet while hiding in the closet or in the attic like anne frank. its funny i actually sometimes wonder what goes on in my head it is all quite realistic surreal and fictional.. fariy tales and yet i do not walk on lilly pads as you do. i do not tiptoe around the man; i stand up and scream WAKE UP BITCHES i am here and living and you will make me fall but i will get back up weather you like it or not. keep trees standing and eliminate HIV/AIDs... stop world hunger, and fix the economy, dictatorships and lets all have world peace.. wait that is to much to ask for i suppose now you will say you take to much for grantid when really you are when you dosn't even realize that there are others besies yourself sufffering and i am sure you know that but really have you ever gone and talked to one of them asked them there story...
Keep it all alive and never forget that when walking we all stare down art our feet.
A small peice of shame.

spit and shine

"good morning star-shine. the world says hello."
and the children keep crying
tear comes to tear
toxic waste
and our love in the
air
the water
and stepped on by our shoes
keep on walking and you will find the system
changing appearences
and still sitting on ourselves
sit and nothing will ever be done
at least from what i see
unless of course
we sit to make a stand
what a odd pefrence.
ultimate poser i must say
changes apperance for the liking of others
also myself if i feel to bright i change into a dark colored shirt
if weaaring to many clothes i go naked
no not really that is frowned upon in america
along wiht cananbalism
"everything is edible here, even me".
"he wears a heart safty pinned to his back pack his back pack is all that he knows"
wow how randomn and still in sync
in my mind that is
emma and joe
and joe and emma
and yet i long for one maybe two
one far another farther
and one just a emotional liking nice to be friends
o well.

AHA.. the answer

i can say something or quietly walk off stage.
take a real look or close your eyes afraid of the truth.
but i help fix it.
fix you.
or at least i try.
if you want help.

teenage overdose... or was it angst?

FUCK
why dont you just go take some more pills.
next time we'll use your toothbrush not mine.

theories from the underground

pour my heart out one day at a time..
only recently
i found out what it was like to have one.
to worry,
to have real feelings,
about friends, family, myself but it all is so confusing.
like finding the right card in a shuffled deck.
i am no magiacian
i cant fix the world myself.
but i sure as hell can try
and that is what i will do.
love for children and fear of death..
not really i am more than ready for such a thing
more less worried about the impact on myself rather than others..
haha how concided.
phone calls: GRAND CENTRAL STATION
and yet all i really want is
a job,
a life,
and some food i can call my own.
freedom..
break away from the leash, run away from the world and hide under a rock..
that will surely never happen because life is so well worth doing and not woth the waiting.
in my eyes that is
i am not all that sure about you
or how you look at me
although secretly i wish i did know
and i wish you knew how i felt
i will keep it hidden for a good 20 some years.
tipsy turvy life style not knowing which way to go..
maybe we all should end thid nonsense
and understand that in reality life could all somewhat be pleasing you know?
there is no reaon for depression really.
only chemical imbalances
cause things and fairys will fix them.
unless they come to late and BANG your dead.
fall of a building
whoops i saw it on tv..
haha poor people and ther pathetic excuses...
i really wish the dark carnival could come pick me up
like people say all six joker cards layed out and i am waiting....
it needs to hurry so many thoughts about death
and i know i will never actually do it..
tried drowning but never really satisfied me..
constant lieing has a big impact i think..
should probably stop that some time down the road..
do things with my life
i know i can but i dont have the drive..
only about 35% of the time do i get that drive
and what a wonnderful drive that is..
hormones are horrible likeing and haitng to many people at once..
one day i will find what i need to find untill then i will sit idol..
unless of course i need to urinate.

music and movies...also a side affect of a hangover

my head hurts
the beat is kicking harder
not only in my mind
but in general quite great..
BORAT in my background
and GIR in my heart.
lets sleep for 23 minutes
and awake for great sucess
of which this was not.

careful not to drip sauce down your shirt.

it is only anxiety
i keep holding on tho the string
dragged down the line of applicants
waiting for my turn
to make a statmnent of complains
about this world we call home.
we all shit on the place with so much
carbon and meat eating.
do you not feel bad?
who knows the green plan does! haha.
chicken and a giant steak please as rare as can be.
how disgusting why dont you just pour bleach down your throat?
weed..
well it is better than ciggarettes
and is organic soooo
that is a plus also for a short while
it makes you feel somewhat good
and
can clear out your lungs unlike ciggarettes...
goodthing i smoke newports more often.
poor thing die early.
dowsing,
tarrot,
numerology,
astrology,
spaggetti.
hmm all wonderful things that change your life.
so do you.

fuck.shit.hell.yea.

well if all things were perfect
my sister would eat less ice cream and more carrots
boosting her health and well
i told every one that life is more than just a drag
and i love it either that more less
what is she saying to me
she sounds like the peanuts parent
and i just used tool lyrics to an extent.
how erotic.
my shoulder itches
and dowsing is pretty much amazing and well worth it in life.
find my missing retainer
not mine my cousin
who happens to be quite rad
but i fell asleep earlier
and the whole caffiene addiction
is still thered and beating me up
is what she says so
what
huh
why did you pretend to listen
maybe one day i will who knows
i only hear a few grasps like
my X
and her
and a girl named lauren
i think maybe somone else who knows.
newports
and coffee
and a good book what a perfect combination especially if you add the right amount of angst.

E.

if life was a drug we all would be so fucked up
we would all think the same and
than
no more war
no hurt
just illusionist happiness.
perfect.

splish splosh carrot tops

smile
it is 2 degrees
you are still breathing
as close to fresh air as possible.
snow white staring me in the eyes.
metaphor?
possibly.
if we could choose though would you rather have

two crayons

or

two lives

?

i would give anything to live childhood over
which i could do either way
but the crayons seem much more
appealing.
as long as they were not periwinkle of course.
maybe a girl on E would be also more appealing.
dancing to techno/elctronica.
interesting situation also
frequently happening.
something new to try.
E.
well that is a scary situation possibly it would happen.
I will wait as i would usually do.
untill the chance comes up.
worried about friends.
new ones mostly.
still caring even if they do fuck up.
alice isn't always the only one.
we all follow the white rabbit once in awhile.
not only because of the couriosity.
also because all of us stray the wrong way.
some just alot more than others.
we need to learn to follow our paths not theirs.

bring down the telescope.

a cup of coffee.
snoop dogg/dr.dre/freezepop.
all together a great morning.

3 scoops please that is of coffee grounds not sugar.
ozzfest is a bust.
no longer going.
free tickets to first to claim.
woohooish.

swimming

okay so here we go agian.
diffferent song this time keeping things new.
not dancing though except the little ballerina in my head or yours.
i fell into a drift while away for a week,
of love,
loathe,
and frendship.
Only keeping away from a few mostly loving all I must say "people people" are my kind of people becuase in my perspectrive i am a people person who knows though.
applying for a new job.
woohoo.
can not wait actually i can meaning no more peircings hurray for modesty..
not ish.
i suppose it is nice once in a while but not constantly.
bibles are to much for me but so is little religion and love.
i refuse to give up on people if things happen to them so keep on with what happened in you life.
i will support you to do the best thing either way.
so i guess i am a good person besides additrions and cramped lifestyles.
sleep sounds nicce yawning the morning away as usual.
but who knows lets jump around and around.
no more for me though just photography.
cathing life in a freeze frame not like a painting of which has movement like me.

talk about the atmosphere

finding new religion is actually quite harder than it seems falling not as peacfully as you would expect into the abyss still trying quite hard.
i still look at the stars not looking for the heavens more less a constilation or a glimpse of hope if anything.
its funny becuase that glimpse i have been waiting for keeps running by and i just never happen to catch it.
like fireflys. never was all that great at catching them either i guess fire flys sybolized hope. who knows though.
i am quite excited. to sleep. in my bed that is so very nice to lay in it for the sixth time this summer. sixth a estimation of course. no i am not contridicting my self either.
well i need a new song and new mind to type to because this is over played, over stressed, over used.
we should dance for a day and make it all new.
possibly one day it will who knows.
we will find true happiness even if it is gust a glimpse it is still hope.
keep the glass half full.

significantly numerous

Take all the cries out of all your head and shoes.
Of course the ones that walk for miles but go no where in particular.
I feel bad for you , keep walking but not moving; just a jungle gym in your head.
Well if the fish keep swimming that is deifinetly a significance in fact.
Don't you think?
I do believe that if life was a number it would be 0.
For the number of people who care for others more than themselves.
Our planet is pretty sad every one is so very tied up on themselves but who knows maybe it is beter for us to care more about our imperfections then others.
All the criticsm is too much.
So we keep caring about our own insicurities.
Carry on it is always a good thing to do ?
I suppose if you look at in a millon ways like a rubix cube.
You know?
Thousands of strategies.
Only one real way.
Sooner or later we will see every thing in the end.

shooting stars and kalidescopes.

i tripped over my own two feet and fell on to a shooting star.
i dint fly away just sat.
idle.
time to sleep.
when i wake maybe the ride will be over.
or hell maybe it will start.

try that number.

let's fight in alphebettical order.
the same way everything else is done.
routinley.
modestly.
perfect in a spectators eyes.
i am tired of the ashes sitting at my feet from my non smoking firends.
laughing.
yet i find a way to smile.
push the way of thinking out of the box.
or at least yours.
to centered.
(upon yourself that is)
look at YOUR bodies ecosystem.
does it seem right?
of course not.
intestines knoted up.
and soul lost in your shoes.
stepping on all dignity of which you had.
(only for a brief second that is)
we still laugh at the less worthy as if nothing was different.
we need to stop faking and see that there is no need to laugh.
(at others that is)
so keep the words of famous ones and hated ones close by.
you never know when you need a good quote.