A hot shower and phone sex.

emotional distress fills me
with this remote on my left
and i would like
to change the channel to see
my future
but the fear of dieing kills me.
i keep the remote off limits.
you and i have not talked in months
and out of no where you appear
telling me that every moment
we used to talk you died to tell me you loved me
and the day you did
you said you were drunk.
but finally you say it and tell me the entire tuth
(or what i believe it is)
"I LOVE YOU"
it sends my heart into flames
and fireworks
i can't breathe
batman better save me
so i can kill him slowly
with the truth that i am falling
for someone besides him.
it hurts
this i am aware
but it hurts me not to.
you take a drink
and i will take the hit
with these phone calls and trampolines
that we plan out in our swimming gear in my bath tub
underwater scuba diving
for eachother that we can
just barely reach,
it is lovely
it is epic
it is something i want
but not as much as before
i am not sure how i feel
but i can tell it will be back
the full feeling
where i would risk my life
for yours
and i would never
let go of you
no matter what the consequences.
you are beautiful
when you are with me.